Peer Pressure: Real Students, Real Advice, Real Struggles
Peer pressure is a constant problem across all parts of life, not just in school. In movies or shows it is usually portrayed as something dramatic—parties and drinking, or reckless situations. However, peer pressure in schools, especially at a Magnet school, is a silent competition between those who are taking the hardest classes, who studied the least but with the best grade, or who has the busiest schedule. It’s hard to deal with this because it’s less about being told what to do, but more about the feeling of having to match those around you—everyone is silently battling.
What makes this kind of pressure so difficult is the fact that it is often unspoken about—like its hidden in plain sight. No one directly says you need to do more—but when everyone around you is constantly pushing themselves, it can feel like you don’t have a choice.
So, in an environment where everyone is striving to succeed, how do students handle the pressure to keep up?
For many students, this pressure shows up in everyday situations, especially when it comes to academics and extra-curriculars.
“I feel like academics and trying to fit in Americanized standards is competitive because I’m in Magnet and all my friends are comparing their grades. I can feel hopeless when my grades aren’t what I wanted after studying.” Said Sanvi.
From speaking to a Magnet KMHS student, it is cear how peer pressure isn’t always obvious. Instead, students like Sanvi often feel obligated to fit in and measure their worthiness based on grades creating the underlying competition even with friends.
Teachers notice these patterns as well.
“Being at a Magnet school creates an obvious obsession with grades, and especially with the expectation to stay in the high-level courses even after burnout is tough. This creates perfectionist which is okay but not when its student’s whole personality.” Said Mrs. Shiver.
From a teacher’s perspective, it is easy to see all different types of students with different personalities and problems. Having this overview highlights the consistent comparison that is underlying in classes every day. It could be as simple as changing your opinion on a topic because everybody else in the class has a different view. Teachers notice and they see the pressure every day.
Despite these challenges, students are finding ways to deal with pressure.
“I would not give good advice because I deal with it by being depressed then forcing myself to keep going weather by my parents pressure or seeing my friends working.” Said Sanvi.
Though Sanvi hasn’t figured out how to deal with the pressure yet since she is a sophomore, a good tip is to have good friends to talk to when you feel alone. However, Mrs. Shiver has seen this and delt with this same feeling most of her life and has very good advice.
“I would say that the desire to succeed should be replaced with the desire to find yourself and know when/why you are feeling this way—knowing yourself and your limits is a crucial trait that will help you in all parts of life.” Said Mrs. Shiver.
Experts in Psychology back this up. The American Psychological Association suggests focusing on your own goals instead of constantly comparing yourself to others and building friendships with people who don’t make you feel pressure to keep this up.
At KMHS, peer pressure may not be loud or obvious, but it is present in everyday life. It crawls and seeps into the cracks of perfectionism and comparison. It is important to find what works for you and have people that will support you no matter what. Taking control of your life is the first step to learning that success doesn’t come from keeping up with everyone else, but from choosing what works best for you. Always remember that comparison is the theft of joy.
